


all we see is sky

by littledancer



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, High School, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Song: For Forever (Dear Evan Hansen), Writer!Mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledancer/pseuds/littledancer
Summary: At Donghyuck's funeral, Mark tells the story of two best friends who once owned the sky.- inspired by "For Forever" from the Broadway musical Dear Evan Hansen
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 28
Kudos: 56





	all we see is sky

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Please take note of the tags! Suicide is implied and referenced quite often in this story, so if that is trigger to you in any way, please be warned. This was my first ever fic initially done for soonhoon (SVT), but revamped three years later for Markhyuck because I couldn't resist. I orphaned the original work, so here it is now, new and... improved? It isn't much better, but I do hope you enjoy regardless!
> 
> The title of this story is from "For Forever", a song from Broadway show called Dear Evan Hansen. Please give the [ song](https://open.spotify.com/track/0ZWW07BD8W85lUbgx2sn7E?si=PIcyJ7-zR_i_JR15uCX64g) and the whole musical a listen, it is truly, truly beautiful work.

"They found his body yesterday. The funeral's in a week."

This must have been some kind of joke.

"Mark, the cause of death was suicide."

Some sick, sick joke.

"They want you to give the eulogy. He wanted you to give the eulogy.”

Mark could hear his heartbeat, deafening, thundering.

"I'm so sorry, Mark."

At that moment, Mark didn't know if he was crying, or if he threw up, or if it just felt like his insides were turned inside out. He was numb. He was empty, haunted by the scream that was trapped in his throat and his knees that threatened to give way.  
  
Before he could take it back, before the truth settled in, "Okay." Mark said, barely breathing, barely realising half of him was long gone.

Mark didn't know how much weight a human body could take until a week later.

His skin felt like sacks of rice and each movement was a struggle. His bones felt clunky and out of place, as if they no longer fit inside of him. His lungs never had enough air, shriveled up and tight. His gut weighed like a stone, though his heart surely felt heaviest.

Mark hated everything about this. Mark hated the funeral room he was in, albeit it being one of the nicest ones in the center. It was obviously way too expensive and too much like a five star hotel reception hall. Mark hated the constant looks of pity and the cautious hugs from his friends and family. He hated their rounded, sorry eyes and the way they held him so gently, as if he would break at their touch. He hated the black, the suits and dresses, the constantly pursed lips and failed attempts at condolences. Donghyuck would have laughed at their serious faces.

  
Donghyuck.

  
Donghyuck would have wanted it outdoors, with lots of colorful flowers and grass, because everyone who knew him knew he loved the sun. He would have wanted all the Japanese food ever as a buffet, not any of this salad crap with who knows what in it. Donghyuck would have hated the black and how formal everything was. He would have demanded everyone to come in their pajamas or something ridiculous like that, just to make sure everyone was as comfortable as they could be. Because Donghyuck was like that.

Mark knew Mr. and Mrs. Lee had spent a lot of money to make sure their son's funeral was as grand and as beautiful as possible. And it was beautiful, but it just wasn't Donghyuck.

Mark knew there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was speak in front of a hundred people he recognised, but at the moment, all felt like strangers. As if he couldn’t be more pressured, Mr. and Mrs. Lee had made him the last eulogy. How could they expect him to write ten years of friendship onto pen and paper, for everyone to hear? How could he write about Donghyuck? Donghyuck, who was kinder, and more selfless than anyone would understand, or ever tried to understand?

Regardless, even though it nearly killed him, and the struggle of finding the right words, the true words, to use felt like a stab in the gut, he was determined to write the best damn eulogy ever. He had to. For Donghyuck.

As expected, Mark had to admit his speech was beautifully written. There were enough funny anecdotes to keep everyone smiling, and just enough vulnerability so nothing seemed fake. It was not lighthearted, not too soul crushing. Relatable and very, very moving. The speech was heartfelt and tugged at your emotions, and made you feel all the right feelings at all the right moments. Even his father had teared up by the end of it during his practice read in front of his parents. 

Mark had always known he had a way with words. Neither he nor Hyuck could attest for either of their report cards, but Mark had never failed to take breaths away with his writing. So as he stood on the pedestal, in front of all of him and Donghyuck’s loved ones, why he couldn't find it in him so utter a single word, was beyond him.

"Uh, hi. Some of you may know who I am, but for those who don't, I'm Lee Mark. I… was Donghyuck's best friend." A sea of eyes of familiar faces gazed back at him, eyes instantly glazed over. Suddenly, Mark found it difficult to swallow. "Okay, uh... I've written thousands of words in my life, but never anything like this. He always said he was the number one fan of my work, and this time will be no different." Mark said, and he cursed himself for sounding way too rehearsed, but cleared his throat anyway. “Hyuckie, this is for you."

Mark looked down. He hadn't realized his hands were shaking, until his trembling fingers unfolded the piece of paper. He cleared his throat.

"Light is a constant. It probably is one of the only true ones in the universe. To the creak of light through the door, to the infinite stars in the sky. It touches every being, revealing itself in even the smallest of ways." Mark said, glancing too frequently down at his paper, sounding too loud or feigning too much confidence. "Donghyuck was the light. He-He brightened everyone in every way he could..." Mark could feel his mouth drying and his voice cracking. It was ridiculous really, because he had spoken in front of crowds five times the people in this room. He was a trained public speaker and writer, and it was Donghyuck's one request. Why couldn't he just read the speech?

"Donghyuck was... Donghyuck was..." His hands shook faster, and each word that came out of his mouth felt like acid. 

"Donghyuck..."

Mark looked down at the words on the paper, but they could've been chicken scratch for all he knew. Everything felt wrong. This was wrong.

Mark tore his eyes away from the crowd, everyone hanging onto his every word. He knew he was stringing them along, but he couldn't do it. He slowly folded the paper and ignored the murmurs that came with the stretched moment of silence. 

He took a deep breath, steadying his heart beat and collecting his scrambled thoughts, or the lack thereof. The gentle hum in the air rang in his ears, and his eyes were fixed on the window. He never noticed how beautiful it was outside. The tall pine trees were almost magical with the sun shining right through. He had never seen the sky so golden.

But he had.

"We were sweaty."

Mark didn't know he started talking until he did. This time, everyone was listening.

"End of May or early June, so almost three months ago. We went to the old apple orchard. It was a long drive, but Donghyuck was so determined. We had to be there, he said. Today was perfect, he said. We even skipped class that day. Though it was the first time I ever saw him complain about the heat, it didn't last long. He could never stay mad at the sun." That was something Donghyuck would always say. God.

"If I didn't have this to prove it," Mark said, lifting his foot which hung limp on his leg. "I would have thought that day was a dream." 

Then Mark remembered. He remembered everything.

_Take a deep breath,_

"The sun was so bright."

_Tell them how it happened._

"If ice cream melts, is it still called ice cream?"

Donghyuck slightly rolled down the car window. A couple strands of his wispy fringe had already managed to bind together in a sticky mess from the ice cream that was all over his mouth.

"What?" Mark exclaimed, and grabbed his ice cream from his hand as Donghyuck got in the car. He licked the top of his vanilla cone and almost sighed as the delectable cream coated his throat. Days as hot as these must be illegal.

Donghyuck managed to put on his seatbelt one handed, though with some difficulty, and folded his free arm over his chest. "Because technically, when they melt, it isn’t ice anymore. So, is it just cream? Soup?"

"It'll turn into soup, if you keep talking." Mark said. 

Donghyuck handed back his ice cream cone to Mark as he started the car. 

He gripped the steering wheel and stepped on the gas. As they drove off, the neon red sign that read "A La Mode" and the ice cream shop's small but colorful structure scaled further and further away.

Mark was holding both of their ice creams now, but it wasn’t hard to tell who’s ice cream cone was who’s, Donghyuck’s ice cream laced in bright colors and Mark’s the plainest vanilla cone. 

Though he knew Donghyuck was keeping his eyes on the road, and it wasn’t like he ever took Mark’s orders to shut up seriously but he was oddly quiet. It was strange, because Donghyuck almost always did most of the talking among the two. There have been countless conversations between them that weren't even conversations at all, just Donghyuck going off on a tangent and Mark nodding along to his friend's animated expressions and stories. Mark didn't need to speak for Donghyuck to know he was listening. That's just how they were. But even with sugar in his system and the beautiful countryside scenery that he was crazy about, Donghyuck was quiet this time.

Mark glanced back and forth from the scenery to his best friend, wondering what he was thinking about to have made his eyebrows crinkle and his eyes go soft and wide. He wondered what was going on in Donghyuck's head more often than not nowadays. 

"Penny?" Mark offered, something they always said when they could tell that something was on the other’s mind. 

"My family used to go to A La Mode a lot. It was kind of a far drive from the city, but we all found it to be worth it." Donghyuck said, not taking his eyes off the road, but Mark could hear the smile in his voice. The green fields endlessly stretched as they drove further down the long, country road. "I'm not telling you where we're going just yet, but my family and I used to go where we're going all the time after having ice cream. It was always the same man at the counter, the same flavors we'd get. It's where I found my love for bubblegum and pineapple flavored ice cream." 

He casted Mark a pointed look, because he knew Mark found it disgusting. He still does. "It was always this GINORMOUS palace of rainbows and color!" Donghyuck made a big motion with his hands, taking both hands off the wheel to which Mark nearly dropped both the ice cream cones in fear. "I just never knew the place was so small." Mark barely caught it, but there was a sort of melancholic glint in his eye. He tried his best to make it out, but it was hard when he wouldn’t keep his eyes off the road. It was always a bit hard to see past the stars in Donghyuck’s eyes anyway.

Mark glanced helplessly at the melting ice cream in his hands. "Dude, the ice cream is going to drip all over my car.”

Donghyuck's face lifted and broke out into a grin, and Mark decided he was okay. “Well, I’d be eating it right now if you learned how to drive, you fucking loser.”

Mark pursed his lips in an embarrassed smile. “Shut up. I can’t believe you’re making me miss Algebra 2 for this.”

He could see Donghyuck smile from the corner of his eyes. “Like you’re disappointed. Quit complaining and feed me ice cream."

Mark shook his head, but did as he was told. With a grimace that he had to fake more than he’d like to admit, he reached over and placed Donghyuck’s ice cream cone in front of his mouth. Donghyuck wasn't in the most comfortable position to be eating ice cream without any hands, but that didn’t stop him from taking an abnormally large bite out of his ice cream cone. He smiled and made eye contact with Mark licking the ice cream cone, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Ah, you are so gross.” Mark turned away, and cursed the day when being shy around Donghyuck became a thing. 

“Wipe my mouth for me?” Donghyuck smiled, with a teasing glint Mark couldn’t miss, which he never, ever misses. 

“You are such a baby.” Mark grumbled, rolling his eyes but wiping the edge of Donghyuck’s mouth with tissue anyway. 

“Your baby.” Donghyuck teased, taking one hand off the wheel to poke Mark’s cheeks affectionately. Mark had glared daggers into his skull, but of course, Donghyuck had grown to be invincible to his burning looks.

"You’re too hyper."

"I am not hyper!" Donghyuck said, as he nearly jumped up and hit his head on the car ceiling.

"I shouldn’t have bought you ice cream." 

"But you did, didn’t you? You can’t say no to me," Donghyuck grinned and poked Mark's dimple. Mark knew he wasn’t wrong. “And you care for what makes me sentimental and my palatable pleasure.”

Mark pushed Donghyuck's hand away. "Dude, keep your eyes on the road. But I'll forgive you, because actually your use of "palatable' isn’t correct but I appreciate the effort. Though this is coming from someone who thought the word, 'several' was an extension of 'seven' until he was ten."

"Sue me, okay, they sound VERY similar. Not everyone is a genius master of words like you." Donghyuck said, though it hardly sounded like a compliment.

Donghyuck's hand clambered back to his cheek and Mark slapped it back. "Put your hands on the wheel! This dude is really out here trying to get us killed!" 

"Shut up, stupid, at least I know how to drive." Donghyuck sing-songed dramatically then stuck out his tongue, and Mark knew that was his sign to surrender.

Mark knew his argument was futile, considering they were probably the only living things that weren't grass and trees for at least a good three miles. The road in front of them extended straight ahead and stretched for so far, that he couldn't even see the end of the road. Which quite frankly scared him a little. There was something unnerving about not knowing or seeing where you are going, even though he knew very well the most dangerous thing on the road was maybe a frog they could accidentally run over. It was so different in the city, where the streets were always jam packed and bustling. Mark took a moment to look outside of the window. He looked at the trees as they began to double in size, towering and crowding above them. He watched the clouds seep through the holes in the leaves and the sun shine on all of the grass and flowers, keeping the road aglow, then he looked at Donghyuck, with his hand out of the window and the wind in his hair, and decided he liked this better.

"Look at the sky." Donghyuck said. They had been driving in silence for half an hour. "It's so pretty and pale today. It's completely empty."

He's right, Mark noticed the sun high up and larger than life. There were no clouds to dress the stretch of blue, and above them was a hollow kind of blue. 

"Imagine if you vacuum sucked up the color blue, until it faded away. That's what it would look like."

Donghyuck paused to think. "You'd need the world's biggest vacuum."

"I think there's one in E-Mart that's nearly four feet tall."

Donghyuck laughed. "We're gonna need a much bigger one than that. I don't think the sky ever ends." Mark waited for a moment, and sensed Donghyuck would have something to add. His nose scrunched up and his eyes were rounded, gazing up at the fading blue. This was Donghyuck: pensive, thoughtful, one of Donghyuck's many faces that Mark had spent all his life deciphering. "Nobody knows how far the sky stretches for, or where you'll be standing under it in ten, fifty, a hundred years. That's scary."

Mark wanted to argue that it wasn't, and that Donghyuck didn't have to be this pessimistic all the time, though he knew he didn't mean to. Donghyuck was just always like that, upfront about how he feels and what's stirring his heart, much unlike Mark, who was an emotionally constipated dolt. Donghyuck was a whole lot less vocal about his feelings and troubles now than a couple years ago, which Mark had tried to shrug off as growing up. (Didn't mean he worried any less, though, because Mark was a worry wart about everything, especially about things including a certain Lee Donghyuck.)

Mark took some time to think, and maybe this was one of the things he liked the most about Donghyuck. Though he spewed out the most random observations and inquiries about the world and everything in between in the most random, unconnected moments, they always made Mark think and wonder. Donghyuck was just always like that. Thoughtful, so full of thoughts, and the only thing Mark could ever think about for more often than he’d like to admit. 

"Yeah. I guess it is scary." 

With that, Donghyuck remained quiet, his brows furrowed into a thin line, as if pondering still on what had just been said. Mark put on a CD and music blasted throughout the speakers, the familiar choir of voices and jubilant strum of the guitar, their favorite Fall Out Boy song, filling the entire car. As soon as the first note played, Donghyuck's face was rid of all tension as he let out a smile.

When Rome's in ruin,

We are the lions free of the coliseums

Donghyuck's head snapped towards his and grinned. He mouthed something along the lines of, ' _really_?' but Mark was too busy singing along. Donghyuck closed his eyes, rolled down the window fully, let the wind blow through his hair and let the sun shine on his skin. He stuck his tongue out in the air for a second, dog like and ridiculous, before Mark yelled at him to keep his eyes on the road. Donghyuck let out a roaring laugh that blended harmoniously with the music. There was no tension in his body, no walls or boundaries. He was open and willing, as he let the sun enfold him, soaking it all in. Donghyuck was golden and glowed under its touch, but he didn't need the sun to do that. All of a sudden, the sky above them turned ten times more pretty. The blue was no longer faded. 

Mark smiled back at his friend and rolled down his own window and stuck his head out, because what the hell. Donghyuck pushed on the gas to go faster, only making Mark’s hair tousle madly in the wind, and his high pitched laughter almost matched the volume of the roaring engine. Soon, their laughter was lost in the music, as they sang at the top of their lungs to their favorite rock bands, rappers and obscure indie music. If the road stretched on for forever, Mark realized that it would be fine.

Donghyuck told him later on, mostly because he couldn't keep it in, that they were going to an old Apple Orchard. Mark wasn't sure how long it would take them to get there, but their music preference had gone from Fall Out Boy to High School Musical in one car ride; he figured that said enough. He had only heard bits and pieces of the place, only knowing for sure that it was one of his favorite places in the universe. They had closed it down almost two months ago, he remembered because Donghyuck had been so down that day. He had sworn to come back, he said. The elated grin on Donghyuck's face that formed as they stopped the car in front of the orchard had knocked the wind out of him.

“Thank God we made it in one piece. What would you do without me?” Donghyuck tried to sound menacing, but the glow in his eyes said otherwise.

“Be in class right now.”

“Don’t act like you’re not happy.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes, while grabbing their things from the backseats.

I am, Mark wanted to say. How could he not be?

"We're here." Donghyuck said, when they had stopped outside of the car. He took one look at the wooden fence they had put up once they closed the place down and began to climb over it, and because Donghyuck didn't question it, Mark didn't either. It was the least he could do, and he was mostly impressed Donghyuck could even climb over the thing with one hand holding their picnic blanket and food basket.

"It's over there, come on!"

Before Mark had even put both feet on the ground, Donghyuck grabbed his hand and ran. He jolted forward, stumbling over a little and almost cursed at Donghyuck, until he saw the eager glow in his eyes and let him lead the way. All he could hear was the wind rushing against his ear, the sound of their heavy footsteps against the trail, and an actual chorus of birds chirping high in the trees. They ran through the trees and down the trail, Donghyuck's legs picking up so fast he could barely register his surroundings, though there was something exhilarating in running and only seeing green pass him by.

Mark didn't know how long they had been running for, all he had was the burn in his legs and his breathless lungs to base off of, until Donghyuck stopped abruptly in his tracks, nearly making Mark shoot forward. He toppled over, before standing his ground and looked up towards his friend.

"Dude, what the hell?” He said, sounding way too out of breath for his liking. But Donghyuck didn't respond and instead kept his gaze forward. Mark had bent over to catch his breath, and after three deep breaths, followed his gaze and faced forward.

Donghyuck had brought him to the widest meadow, where the green stretched on forever and was framed with the trees that extended to the sky. The grass looked almost inviting to lie on, airy and soft on his feet and filled with bright flowers. The sun kissed everything in his wake, and anything it touched glistened and bursted in swirls of color. Brighter and larger than life did everything seem, as the grass ahead of him stretched off and far into the horizon. Softly, carefully, they stepped on forward as if wishing not to intrude on the quiet hum of the field.

"Wow,"

"Yeah. Take it in."

Donghyuck hadn't let go of his hand. If anything, he held on tighter. Mark then realized he needed it too, to keep himself from the floating in the air.

"Dude, I feel like a NonFiction book." Mark had said after an unknown stretch of his silence, as they continued to marvel at the view.

Donghyuck broke his gaze to turn towards him, and for a moment, Mark almost felt bad. Everyone deserved to be entranced by the site ahead of them. But he continued, "I feel like a NonFiction book forced into the Fiction section of the library, you know?" and Donghyuck understood.

He nodded. "My family used to go here, to this spot, all the time. If there was ever a bridge between reality and fairytales, this would be the place."

Suddenly, Mark felt this obligation to go on some wild, fantasy adventure and felt way too mundane for a place so unearthly but also entirely earthly at the same time. Donghyuck seemed unfazed as he continued to walk and piped up in breathless conversation. They walked under the shade of the trees, so slowly and quietly.

Donghyuck let go of his hand and Mark tried to hide his disappointment. 

"I think this is where The Staves would have loved their house." Donghyuck said as he avoided the trees' shadows by stepping only on the random spots on the grass where the sun was shining. Anyone would have found a seventeen year old jumping on the spots, pretending the shadows were lava to be immature. Strange, even. But this was Donghyuck.

"This is what they were talking about, you know? A house on the meadow, bedroom window facing exactly west." He continued, quoting one of Mark's favorite songs.

Mark nodded, watching his best friend hop animatedly from spot to spot. "There isn't any ocean here, but who would want a puddle of blue compared to this?" He asked, throwing his head back and gesturing towards the sky. He looked up towards small patches of blue masked behind threading, intertwined branches.

Donghyuck nodded. "Right." He continued hopping on the golden patches of sun, nearly losing balance. 

Suddenly, an idea sparked within Mark as he smirked and took a deep breath before shouting, "MURDERER!"

Donghyuck nearly jumped out of his skin and a high pitched shriek forced out of his throat as Mark doubled over with laughter. “The fuck?" Donghyuck asked faintly, as he clutched his heart.

Mark's stomach began to ache, and he knew his laughter sounded down right obnoxious but he didn't care. Donghyuck's face had been absolutely priceless. Donghyuck raced towards Mark, who didn't even bother to run or stop laughing as he shoved him hard on the side.

"I just remembered," Mark said, once his laughter had died down. Donghyuck's arms were folded. "Fairies are born there, remember? On spots of sun on the ground?"

Donghyuck's frown completely vanished as his eyes lit up. "We said that, didn't we? That was ages ago." He was right. They had been eleven years old when they declared that, while playing under the big park tree after school. It was no different than the hundred other sunny afternoons they spent in the park outside of their elementary school, and even Mark was surprised he remembered.

Then Donghyuck began giggling. "At least I'm not like you, tooth fairy murderer. Remember?" Oh, God. Seven years old. Mark had lost a tooth with a cavity in it and put it under his pillow. He had bragged about earning a thousand won that night, until Donghyuck had told him that teeth with cavities in it kill the tooth fairy. Mark had cried for a week.

Donghyuck had apologized a thousand times over and tried to convince Mark it wasn't true. Their friendship had almost ended when Mark refused to speak to him again for two straight weeks. He never believed him until their parents had called both of them to Mark's living room. Donghyuck and Mark had both the Santa talk and the tooth fairy talk that day. Both of them cried their eyes out.

Donghyuck piped up again with another random memory from when they were younger and Mark's eyes lit up with fondness every time. He had forgotten most of them, sunny days and toothy smiles lost within the boundless mess of days that he's spent with Donghyuck. He never realized how great Donghyuck's memory was. God, they were absolute losers. "Remember the time we performed for the school fair?" or "Remember the time we nearly blew up your kitchen?" But for reasons unknown to both of them, they always went back to the tooth fairy story. 

By the time they had finished reminiscing the story, for the fifth time now, they had tears in their eyes from laughter.

"We...were...ruined." Donghyuck said in between breaths. They were both clutching their stomachs at this point.

"Life just went downhill from there."

"Definitely downhill." Donghyuck nodded, once the laughter died down.

Mark looked towards him. "You think so?"

Donghyuck nodded again. "For sure. We've got, what, a year of high school left?"

"That's not that long."

"It feels like an eternity." Donghyuck replied.

It had gotten oddly quiet, unnervingly quiet.

"You always do that," Donghyuck piped up again. "Hum when you think. You're always thinking, so you're always humming." Mark didn't even realize he was doing it.

"Really? Do I hum a particular song?"

"Never an actual song. Just a small little tune that no one else knows of." (Your hums were my favorite songs, Donghyuck had meant to say. And Mark finds out, though much, much later. Too late.)

"It's one of my favorite things about you." Donghyuck said, so nonchalantly. Just like that. Because Donghyuck was blunt and affectionate, and unafraid. 

"You... you always sleep with your earphones in. Which isn't fucking healthy, by the way." Mark said, casting Donghyuck a look that he just grins at. "And I... okay, fine. I listen with you when I stay over. Sometimes. It helps me fall asleep."

"To my music? While I'm sleeping?" Donghyuck didn't sound anywhere near mad, his eyes perked up curiously.

"Yeah. They're all good songs, don't worry." 

"I wasn't worried. I have the best music taste ever." Donghyuck said, yanking a flower off the ground and placing it in his hair. It falls right off. "You drink coffee when you’re stressed and hot chocolate when you’re in a good mood”

"You always mouth the words of the song while dancing." 

"You always beat the cash register when computing for your change whenever you buy anything." 

"You take care of your stuffed toys as if they're your children."

"You love me."

Mark's stomach dropped. He stopped in his tracks to face Donghyuck, though he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to. But when he did, he was greeted by a playful, blissfully ignorant, innocent smile and a punch to his arm. "God, I'm kidding. Geez."

Mark quickly rolled his eyes to fight off the blush in his cheeks and the rapidly increasing butterflies in his stomach. "Fuck you, you’re right, over 365 days of high school with you will feel like an eternity."

Donghyuck's expression immediately drops and shifts into a frown. "Oh yeah, that's what we were talking about. Fuck. We've got less than a year of high school left."

"Yes, Hyuck. We've been over this. For like, the third time today."

They let the silence sit between them, settling into a peaceful kind of comfort. "We've got less than a year of high school left. And then what?"

Mark grabbed a low branch and swung forward. "Then the rest of our lives."

"The rest of our lives, huh?" Donghyuck sighed after a thoughtful moment of silence, sounding a mix of hopeful and something else he couldn't put his finger on. "That's a lot."

"There's a lot to do."

"Like what?"

"Like get a job. Become a doctor or a teacher or learn to cook a thousand different kinds of cakes."

Donghyuck smiled. "Becoming a doctor is a stretch. Teacher is more like it. Baking is something Hina would do."

"She could cook a thousand different kinds of anything." Mark recalled the bake sale they did to raise funds for a class project.

Donghyuck stopped hopping, making Mark stop in his tracks. "You used to have a crush on her, didn't you? Freshman year." Donghyuck casted him the smallest smirk. "You did! You had the biggest crush on her, I remember. You wrote her that amazing poem for English class, - the one about the flowers! - but nobody knew it was about her." (But someone did. Donghyuck did. Donghyuck had memorized every single word to that poem. Mark would never find out.)

"Shut up, everybody had a crush on her." Mark felt a blush rise to his cheeks, but fought it down. 

Donghyuck swung the picnic basket back and forth. "I didn't." Mark grabbed his wrist to avoid their food spilling everywhere. Donghyuck casted him an innocent smile. 

"Of course, you didn't. You were too busy being Dongsaeng of The Year to Taeil hyung. Or how should I say this? Ah! For lack of better terms, a fanboy."

Donghyuck pulled away at his grip and it was his turn to blush. "Shut up!" And Mark laughed.

Donghyuck had immediately changed the subject to gossip happening at school, things Mark wasn't particularly interested in, but did find entertaining. Mark had no idea how he knew all of this, like who was dating who and what happened in each party but he was partly thankful, too. He knew Donghyuck got around, but God knows how hard it was nowadays to keep up with their school life. He was reminded more and more of how similar, yet dramatically different the two of them were. 

Somewhere in the midst of Donghyuck's stories, they realized they'd been walking aimlessly the entire time and settled down in a nice clear spot in the grass under the shade of a large oak tree. Mark sat next to Donghyuck, shoulder to shoulder as they opened the picnic basket and put out every snack they brought. He silently thanked Donghyuck for overpacking a ridiculous amount of food, because with his stomach grumbling this much and each snack getting devoured one by one, suddenly the ridiculous amount they brought didn't seem so ridiculous anymore.

Mark had stopped chewing his third sandwich when Donghyuck said Taeil had been scouted by a personal agent, and rumor had it that he had just been scouted by an idol agency too.

"What if he ends up singing an OST for a drama, or something? What if he blows up and becomes a celebrity?" Donghyuck asked, his mouth filled with a cream croissant.

"What if he gets so rich he could buy a hundred sports cars? Or a golden toilet?"

"I think Taeil hyung has better priorities than a golden toilet." Donghyuck said.

"Well at least when he ends up in a three way love scandal or the toils of being rich and famous and the highly fantasized, yet brutal steel cut idol world consumes him inside out, and life goes to shit, at least he gets to flush his shit down a literal fifty carat toilet."

Mark sounded so serious, it was almost scary. Then they burst out laughing, bits of food flying everywhere. It was funny to no one but them, but it wasn’t like anyone was there to see them anyway. They didn't care. They were always laughing.

"You're so weird." Donghyuck shook his head. When the spare giggles escaped their systems, Donghyuck let out a sigh and suddenly, everything was quiet again. "But at least Taeil hyung practically has everything figured out. Aside from the 'toils of the idol world', whatever that's supposed to mean." He turned towards Mark. "How about you?"

Mark stopped pulling grass from off the ground and met his gaze. "Hm?"

"What do you wanna do?" Donghyuck asked, with the sun in his face and his deep brown eyes looking at him with such genuine interest and brightness. He was so effortlessly captivating. 

"After school? I don't know, get a job? Make money?" Mark offered, suddenly needing to avert his eyes away from Donghyuck, who's gaze was boring into his soul.

Mark may be the most stubborn person in the world, but his best friend was a close second. Donghyuck rolled his eyes and grabbed Mark's shoulders. "No. What do you wanna do?"

Donghyuck was so filled with wonder, that Mark allowed himself to get lost in his eyes. Just for a second.

Mark blinked and thought for a while. "I want to discover the secrets of the universe."

Donghyuck's eyes lit up and Mark could feel his heart soaring.

"I want to find out why colors are, and how far the ocean stretches and where birds fly. Nah, scratch that. I'm going to discover the secrets of being human. I'm going to meet the most amazing people in the world, and I'm going to write about them. I'm going to write a book about people with stars in their eyes." Mark took a deep sigh afterwards. "And probably wear, like, a beret while I'm at it."

"Okay, you in a beret? Not a good idea. But everything else is a go." Donghyuck rubbed his arm and laughed at the rough push he got afterwards. "But that was beautiful, Mark. I totally see it now. 'Lee Mark's Book of Star People'. You're gonna make millions." He said, wiping fake tears from his eyes.

"That is the shittiest book title I've ever heard. There are IMDB descriptions written better than that."

"You get the point."

Mark rolled his eyes and pushed him again, but Donghyuck held onto his arm and planted his head on Mark's shoulder. "How about me? Do I belong there? Do I have stars in my eyes?"

Everything in Mark told him to shoot him a sarcastic comment or a familiar snarky reply. Mark prided himself in his witty comebacks and creative insults, which were probably perks of being a writer. It was expected, a routine even, for their friendship. He knew Donghyuck was as used to it as he was. A sarcastic joke right then would have probably made him laugh. But as much as Mark lived to make Donghyuck laugh, he was done with jokes. Donghyuck, holding onto his arm and looking up at him so hopefully, didn't have stars in his eyes, he had galaxies. Mark was never a good liar.

"Yeah, you do." He knew he had caught Donghyuck off guard when the grip on his arm tightened ever so slightly. "You'd be the first person I'd write about."

Donghyuck's bottom lip quivered. The stretch of silence grew longer and longer, until he wrapped his arms around Mark's body and engulfed him in a bone crushing embrace. "You know I love you, right Mark? I really do." Donghyuck said, tightening the squeeze with every word. 

Mark's stomach was doing backflips, and it really wasn't fair, how Donghyuck could just say something like that and get away with making Mark's heart skip several beats or swell up with a frustrating amount of fondness. Mark fought the blush rising to his cheeks and bit down on his lips for a millisecond, before prying Donghyuck's hands off before Mark could consider keeping them there forever.

"Well, in that case, watch your main character become the first and only of your cast to leave earth."

"Wait, who said you were main character?-"

"I did. I'm going to get on a rocket ship and blast off into space."

"Oh?" Mark arched his eyebrows curiously. In the ten years of their friendship, this was the first time he's heard of this. "Where in space?" 

"I don't know. Anywhere? Anywhere but earth. I'm going to leave this place behind and travel where the stars aren't just within me, but all around me." Donghyuck lifted his hand and traced the outlines of the clouds in the sky. "I'm going to go where light and dark are one and the planets turn into possible destinations and not just pictures in a textbook. And the sun isn't in the sky, it's right in front of me."

Mark wanted to tell him he already knew how that felt, but kept his mouth shut.

The trees rustled in the distance, and the scorching afternoon air turned cool and light around them, carrying the scent of fresh flowers and honeydew. Donghyuck sighed and dropped his hand. "But I won't do that. I'd miss you too much."

Mark shrugged. "Then take me with you." Donghyuck widened his eyes. "I hear space ice cream's not half bad.” 

Mark didn't know what was in the air, but soon again they were laughing. Melodious and airy, the kind that tickled at his throat. 

Silence fell between them for the first time in what felt ages, and only then did Mark feel the slight ache in his abdomen and the breathlessness in his voice. He took a moment to feel Donghyuck's presence behind him, their backs pressed against each other, as they watched the tall needles of grass sway in the breeze. Off in the distance, birds took off in the sky and suddenly, he envied them. His heart was soaring, and he didn't know how to get it to stop.

"Can we be kids, just for a day?"

Mark looked over to where Donghyuck had tilted his head backwards and rested it on his shoulder. He could see the other boy's eyes gazed at the sky and hair tickling his cheek.

"Why can't we just forget being teenagers, like, forget school, forget college, forget growing up, forget the world and just be kids again?" Donghyuck asked, with a subtle sort of desperation hidden in his tone.

Mark shrugged and a small smile crept to his face. "Who says we can't?"

Donghyuck jumped up, making Mark fall backwards, ("Hey!") but he had looked far from apologetic.

“I wanna go faraway.” Donghyuck said, eyes glazed over and distant for a second. He looked out to the fields with longing, then back at Mark with a new found glint of mischief. 

“Where?”

“Far, far away.”

"How do we get out of here though?" Mark asked, and he could feel Donghyuck's imagination racing and shooting for the moon.

"Don't you see, Mark? Look around you. We're in the most magical place in the universe." Donghyuck said, taking Mark by the chin and craning his head around the scenery. Mark swatted his hand off, though he knew at this point Donghyuck could not be fazed. "Only question is, how do we find them?"

Mark's lips curved into a playful smirk, knowing exactly what he meant. "Portals?" He suggested, and by then he knew every rational part of him had gone out the window. He felt a bit ridiculous, but he pushed it out of his mind, because Donghyuck was so bright, and he couldn't afford that tiny piece of darkness within him. Not when the fire within him burned fearlessly and unapologetically like he used to, once upon a time.

Donghyuck nodded, as if he understood everything about the world. "Exactly."

There was the smaller, more bitter side of Mark that knew none of it was real. And maybe they were masked by the euphoria that came with seeking adventure out of imagination, but Mark had left his mind out of his body and ran. He ran with Donghyuck across the meadow, weaving through trees and jumping across streams. The meadow was boundless in the way it stretched, curved and bended, as if especially shaped for their heavy feet and weightless hearts. They ran, lungs filled with the warm summer breeze as they exchanged stories of their favorite fairy tales to complete new ones, creating new portals to get there. They jumped over rocks and swung on branches to discover worlds far from the one they were doomed to live in. Somewhere in between ragged breaths and winded laughter, Donghyuck had grabbed Mark's hand and allowed silence to rest between them. He looked into Mark's eyes with so much excitement wrapped in promises of sunnier days. Mark allowed his breath to hitch and his heart to race, because Donghyuck was his to keep for the moment, and he felt like a child. Suddenly, they were the ridiculous little kids with wild imaginations and no other friends all over again. They were the kids who competed on who could get to the moon faster, their little minds racing to find outrageous ways to transport themselves to another planet. In a twisted way, it grounded Mark knowing that none of it was real. Knowing here, they could find sanctuary in this beautiful, magical place. They could find freedom within each other and the promises their hearts had in store.

Donghyuck was dancing with the flowers, the sun in his eyes and the breeze through his hair and Mark found himself joining him. No music needed, an unspoken beat hidden in the swaying of the trees and the whistling of the wind. Like a song was crafted through the world they created, just for the two of them. Donghyuck took Mark's hands and together they moved, albeit horribly for two trained dancers. But he and Donghyuck were laughing and this was a song Mark never wanted to end.

Donghyuck hadn't let go of Mark's hands when they collapsed on the grass in laughter, when their limbs had felt like jelly and their heads had started spinning. Their bodies hit the ground heavy. Mark knew they should've been more careful and subconsciously thanked the thick, cushioning grass below them. His head was spinning, not so much dizzying but more in the way everything around him turned into nothing, until all he could see was the blue in the sky. 

Donghyuck's eyes never left his as he whispered quietly, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Mark believed him.

"Me too,"

They believed in each other, and the sky was theirs.

The sky, in the kind of blue that blanketed him in brightness, swirling clouds creating palaces of white out of thin air. The sky that stretched endlessly above them. Donghyuck had said it. In ten years, Mark didn’t know where he'd be. And that's okay, he decided, as long as he and Donghyuck lay under the same sky, together. They lay together and stayed, lost in the moment and lost in the sky until it was all they were: free.

Laughter was still caught in their throats, and maybe they were delirious and maybe Mark was delusional, but Donghyuck was suddenly so close and their foreheads brazed together ever so slightly. Their breaths melted into one and Mark could see nothing but Donghyuck's eyes locked upon his, and the raw joy and longing that filled them. When their lips met, softly and slowly, Mark could feel his breath quake and his lips move in a gentle quiver. He didn't know why none of them questioned it or even tried to move away, but it felt right, and long overdue. Donghyuck tasted like freedom and thrill sought abandon, and slightly of pineapple and bubblegum ice cream. But Mark didn't care because this was Donghyuck: beautiful, beautiful Donghyuck and right now, he felt as if he belonged to the sky. Later, he decided that maybe pineapple and bubblegum go together, after all.

Mark parted his mouth slightly, but Donghyuck was a tease who loved playing with his heart and he pulled away abruptly, causing the both of them to take a moment to watch in awe of what was unfolding. They were both winded and filled with warmth, and it seemed like the theme of the day was breathless. Mark didn't know if he'd ever recover. Donghyuck broke out into a grin, the same one that made Mark's heart sing, pecked him quickly on the lips, and ran. He didn't know if his best friend was some sort of sadist that found pleasure in toying with him, because Donghyuck could not just leave him a blushing mess and not expect him to want answers or to kiss him silly. More so on the latter.

Mark wanted to feign shock, or anger or something other than the stupid grin on his face that completely gave him away, but he had never felt so thrilled to be alive. And there Donghyuck was, far off across a field of yellow, with the wind in his hair and gleaming constellations etched in his every being. He was the clear blue sky amongst a field of yellow flowers, and Donghyuck looked breathtaking, and truly, deeply happy. He belonged with the flowers, and the magic of this small, hidden paradise they've created for themselves. Mark wanted nothing more but to take the sight before him and paint it permanent, and he wished to grab the colors of the wind and put them onto canvas for them to keep forever. And maybe, Mark was in love. Perhaps this breathless, heart wrenching sensation was the feeling of staring into the eyes of the person who turned his whole world into color.

Then the world pressed play, and the excited words, "Follow me!" left Donghyuck's mouth, as he gestured Mark forward. 

Mark was running again, but he didn't mind at all. He knew he'd follow Donghyuck to the ends of the earth if he had to. They reached the tallest, largest tree in the entire orchard, and with his heart racing, they climbed together with Mark in the lead. They were laughing again, one branch after the other, climbing higher and higher until Mark glanced down and the ground was far below them. Would the world change from up there if all they could see was sky? Silently and with eager anticipation, Mark had hoped so.

Donghyuck was ahead of him, moving with a sense of urgency high up on the top. Mark couldn't ignore the unease in his stomach masked by a thrilling rush of excitement. He was never the best with heights, but still he smiled, and Mark was moving faster and faster, until he reached the top of the tree on the branch right beside him. Donghyuck always made him braver than he believed. Mark looked into Donghyuck's eyes and they were consumed by the sea of blue all around them. The sun shone on Mark's face, warm, bright and embracing, and he threw his head back, letting out a laugh mixed with relief and an inexplicable sense of happiness. They were on top of the world, and life below them felt so small, and together, they felt so big. Donghyuck took in a deep breath and stretched his hand up at the sky, as if to touch the castles of clouds that floated above them.

  
_"I held onto the bark of that tree as he held my hand, while his other arm stretched, growing and growing until I was afraid he'd float away."_

  
Donghyuck didn't meet his eyes, and Mark wished he had, because maybe then he would've understood what was going on through his mind when the branch creaked, then gave way.

It happened all in slow motion, just like the movies, but he wished it didn't. Mark saw the way Donghyuck's limp body fell right before his eyes. The way his eyes widened, then closed, slowly, slowly. Mark's stomach lurched and a soundless cry escaped his mouth. He could feel the trail of wind following Donghyuck's body rush by him, but the warm summer breeze felt like daggers on his skin. Donghyuck's wide eyes sank in a way that Mark had never seen before, the creases on his forehead suddenly looking fragile, like cracking, breaking pieces. His heart dropped, and he clenched his fingers as tightly as humanly possible around Donghyuck's, but his hand slipped.

  
No,

  
_"How did it feel, Hyuckie? How did it feel to fall knowing you willingly let go of the only thing that could've saved you?"_

  
Donghyuck had let go.

  
Suddenly, Donghyuck wasn't so weightless and airy after all. His body landed on the ground with a thud, and a horrible crack that sounded like nails on a chalkboard, the crack ten times louder than it should've been in Mark's ears. The fall must have been at least fifteen feet. Mark thought he heard himself scream, but nothing else mattered as he clambered down the branches and jumped to ground once the grass below him seemed a decent distance away. He stumbled onto his feet, and a sharp pain in his right ankle told him to stop, but he ran anyway, following the sound of Donghyuck's wincing, as his eyes were an absolute blur.

"Donghyuck, Hyuckie, oh, my God, Hyuckie..." Mark managed to say, grabbing the other boy's hands with such desperation, his nails nearly digging into Donghyuck's fingers. Donghyuck let out a strangled yelp as his left hand moved slightly at Mark's touch. Mark's eyes widened, but he could barely make out Donghyuck's limp figure, though he wasn't sure if he could bare it anyway. "Holy fuck, holy fuck, dude, the fall was so high. Holy fuck, Hyuckie..."

Mark could hear sniffles, not knowing from whom, but nothing could hide the tremor in his voice as he fumbled to find something, anything to say. But Mark was so much more of a mess than he liked to admit, and his chest hurt, and words failed him when he needed them most.

"Those aren't the most creative words to say coming from a writer." Donghyuck said after a deafening silence, no teasing, no sarcasm, with his voice barely a whisper.

"S-shut the fuck up," is all Mark manages to say as he curls his fingers around Donghyuck's shirt, pulling himself closer to him. 

"Mark... Are you crying?" Donghyuck asked with the weakest smile. He wiped at his cheeks, and holy fuck, he was crying, and he couldn't seem to stop. Suddenly aware of the tears pathetically streaming down his cheeks, Mark's vision cleared, and there Donghyuck lay, with the most pained expression in his eye. Though his eyes were also clearly filled with tears, Donghyuck still managed to shine with a glint of amusement. A pale complexion, nothing like his own, which was once sun kissed and glowing, dulled his entire face. He tried in a futile attempt to hide his staggered, pained breaths, but Mark knew better. "Oh, baby, don't. Don't cry, Mark, oh, don't cry." Donghyuck whispered, an amused expression now completely dropped and replaced with a sad, fond smile.

"You scared me shitless, you bastard." Mark hiccuped, calming his tears and heart. The aching and the clench in his heart was slowly fading. "I thought you were going to die."

"Yeah. Me too."

The lines in Donghyuck's forehead eased, a small smile on his face that could've been resignation. Donghyuck reached out, thumb brushing under Mark's cheek to wipe away his tears. But when he opened his eyes, there was a quiver in Donghyuck's expression that almost resembles fear.

"I-I can't move my left arm, Mark. I can't feel it." Donghyuck stammered, unable to hide the crack in his voice.

Mark shook his head and let out a shaken breath, like a knife to his lungs. "Why'd you let go of my hand, you idiot? Why-why would you... I could have-"

"My hand slipped," Donghyuck said, an innocent smile returning to his face that masked the lie. "You would have fallen with me."

"Are you questioning my strength?" Mark asked. It was meant to sound tougher, but all he sounded was pitiful.

Donghyuck laughed. "Never, Mark."

Mark wanted to punch the lights out of the kid, for being so stupidly stubborn, for lying to him right in his face. He wanted to wipe the still bright, irritatingly contagious smile on his face, because it was so damn tempting to smile back. Someone who just fell fifteen feet from a tree and broke his arm should not be smiling, because what the actual fuck, was he thinking-

"Look at me," Donghyuck said, snapping him back to reality and looking down at Mark's arm that had managed to find their way on Donghyuck's back. "I just got saved by my handsome prince. That's all I could ever want, right?"

"I'm going to drop you," Mark said, but his tightened grip around Donghyuck's body said otherwise. He didn't know when he managed to pick Donghyuck up, but he never wanted to let go, holding him as if the rest of his body would break.

"I feel like humpty dumpty." Donghyuck giggled, glancing down at his now purple and very much broken arm.

"Humpty dumpty died, you fucking idiot."

Donghyuck paused.

"Well, good thing I'm not an egg." Donghyuck said, so smugly. And when Donghyuck looked him in the eye, they bursted out laughing, and everything was okay.

"Right," Mark wiped his dried up tears, the embarrassment of the moment finally catching up with him. "Let's get you up." He said, snaking an arm across Donghyuck's side and lifting him up, until a stabbing pain in his left foot caused him to recoil back to the ground.

"Shit," Mark hissed.

"Shit? Mark, are you hurt?"

"It must have come from the jump to the ground... I think I sprained my ankle." Mark said, his foot already swelling in pain.

Donghyuck let out a dry chuckle, trying his best to pull Mark up with the one free arm he had. "We are dysfunctional. We are actually non-functioning! Dude, I can't help you walk without an arm and you can't help lead without a foot."

"We'll make it work," Mark said between the grits of his teeth. He rolled his eyes and sighed, "We could call for an ambulance but someone refused to let the both of us bring our cellphones."

"Hey, we can be slaves to technology any day, but not today we won't!" Donghyuck said. Mark let out an incredulous scoff, because it was just so ridiculous, and they were just two ridiculous kids with two non-functioning limbs. "There's probably a payphone somewhere."

"Bullshit, Duckie. This is 2017, not 1982." 

"I'll bet you a kiss there's a payphone at least two miles down the road." Donghyuck declared, so bluntly and confidently that it was impossible for Mark's heart not to do backflips in his chest. The grin that formed on Donghyuck's lips was so bright and unafraid, and the wave of warmth that came with it enveloped Mark's entire body.

"Y-you're on." Mark cursed silently when it came out as a stutter, but the excited glint in Donghyuck's eye as he grabbed Mark's hand melted all his frustrations away. 

They hopped down the orchard and suddenly he was reminded of just how huge the long stretch of meadow actually was. All the while, Mark was certain he invented a new workout, because my God, was it tiring to hop on one leg. But behind the wince in his voice, Donghyuck still managed to tell him stories on the way back, the grin on his face, still as animated and wide. He talked of easier times going back here with his family, or random amusing observations, anything to keep his mouth running. If he was talking to hide the pain in his arm, to save the both of them from spiraling down the potential darkness that came with two damaged bones, it was working and Mark was beyond thankful. So they fought the sharpness in their breaths and smiled together, feeding strength off of each other and with each other. And fuck, maybe he was soft for Donghyuck, but the pain in his ankle seemed a little bit bearable with Donghyuck's hand in his.

In the end, there was a payphone just a couple hundred meters past the entrance of the orchard, but with Mark's back pressed against the walls of the payphone and Donghyuck's lips on his, was it really his loss?

"We're going to get murdered by our parents. We're supposed to be in class." Donghyuck said, once they parted and finally called the hospital, after several flustered minutes of delay. 

Mark laughed. "It was nice knowing you, partner." 

The hospital was another forty minutes away. Donghyuck was in a cast, and Mark's foot was bandaged up. They looked like idiots, because they were.

"Call me crazy, but I've always kind of wanted a cast. You're basically half Eygptian mummy." Donghyuck said, once he got out of the emergency room and the color returned to his cheeks. 

Mark scoffed and grabbed the sharpie in his hand before writing a large 'Mark' on his cast until there were no empty spaces on his arm. ("Ooh, possessive." "Shut the fuck up.")

"I'm going to watch you regret saying that in two weeks, and laugh." Mark said, and pulled out the lollipop from his mouth, that they both insisted to receive from the doctors. The fondness in his voice was excessive, but true. "You're crazy."

"You're crazier."

"You're both crazy!" Mark's mom said as soon as she walked in the room and before whacking them both on the head. They winced to rub the backs of their heads, but the smiles on their faces were really not helping their case. "Skipping classes, going to the countryside and breaking your limbs? And without your cellphones! What were you two thinking?"

And the wind would take their secret, throw it up in the air, blowing it through the breeze and swirling it in the clouds. The sun shined bright on them both, and they were part of the blue.

Donghyuck shrugged and casted Mark a smile. Mark couldn't help but smile back.

"We wanted to see the sky."

Mark didn't know how light a human body could feel, until he bore his heart out on a silver platter for everyone to see. All the pain caved within him, the days of sunshine and darkness, all the noise and silence, weaved into the story of a perfect day. He didn't know when he began crying, when everyone began crying, or when he buried his face in his mother's arms and bawled the pain in his chest away. And Mark cries, truly, for the first time that week, and his sobs rupture out of his entire body, shaking and consuming everything inside of him. He cries like he's never cried before, like his heart is being ripped out of his chest and squeezed until there is nothing but harrowing screams escaping his throat. He's burning, and suffocating, and drowning all at the same time with ugly sobs overflowing like tidal waves. All the air in his lungs are sucked right out of him, and it's impossible to breathe, his chest so heavy and empty that he's not sure if anything will ever be okay.

Except it does, and it will. Maybe not now, maybe not for a long time, but Mark picks himself off of the floor, once he's run out of tears and everyone is long gone. His voice is completely wrecked, and he doesn't stop shaking, but he's done. When days turn into months, he still hurts, still loves him, still misses him with every fibre of his being. He's not complete, probably never will be, but he's whole. That, for now, is enough.

When Mark left the funeral that day, his mind had blanked. He could barely recall what he said in his speech, what parts of the story he left in and what details he took out, but he knew they didn't hear everything. They didn't hear their wildest dreams, their fairy tale adventures or the sound of the leaves rustling high above the trees. They didn't feel the wind in their hair, or the sun on their skin or have the breathtaking blue sky be all that they saw. They didn't see the world from up so high, or have it in the palms of their hands, just for that one moment. They didn't hear the beautiful laughter that escaped Donghyuck's lips and the tender I love you's, unspoken yet understood. Mark took the moment, held it ever so gently and swore to never let it go. Some things, some people, belonged to the sky.

"He wasn't just the stars. He couldn't be contained like that. He was everything I knew and everything I couldn't understand, and that is what he taught me. That people are beautiful in their secrets, and gravity is almost never the reason people stay on the ground. I hardly hum anymore, but sometimes, when I let myself, I look to the sky. I think of him, and I think he'd be flying." 

\- Mark Lee, _People are Galaxies_ (2035), New York Time's Best Selling Author 

**Author's Note:**

> Well.... yes
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Scream with me (or at me) on [ twitter](https://twitter.com/ymrkzn) !!
> 
> This was fun to revisit, so please let me know what you think! Feedback would mean the world. <3


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